This is what happens when you show your daughter how to play with a dollar bill:

This was the first President and then he turned into a mushroom, so we had to have another President.  Barack Obama.

Citrus, Age 4, November 2009

When seaweed, grilled shrimp or soft-shell crab Pringles are not enough:

I realize that I could be losing touch with the latest innovations in United States grocery stores.  They may already have these but I like to think that I am learning new things about other cultures while we are living in Asia.

Elysia is in the United States for the week searching for good pizza and burritos.  Also allegedly taking a class at the Army JAG school or at least that is what she told her command.  At five months pregnant is homework or food her top priority?  You be the judge.

Here in Singapore I am just another military spouse keeping the home fires burning, or the air conditioning running, until a lightning storm knocked out half of our electricity and two of our six air conditioners.  (Oh, the humanity!)

But I have things to do even with the power out.  Before she left for the States, my wife bought a package of Oreos at the Navy Exchange, 25 percent off.  She did not realize that I, too, bought some, most likely because I forgot them in the trunk of the car for five days. 

This may be the first time in our marriage we have purchased family-size packages.  A milestone.

So she is in the States and I am left with Oreos and time to think about the important things in life.  With a little bit of scientific analysis — a teaspoon — I have concluded that there is indeed at least double the stuf in a Double Stuf cookie.  It is nice to see that some things in life do not change.

Another thing that does not change will be my wife coming home wondering what happened to the cookies with the same sense of incredulity that she had when discovering that the frozen sorbet purchased three weeks ago is no longer in the freezer.

After conducting the Oreo analysis, including a review of the literature, I now know that the wafer Oreos for sale on base are unique to Asia and Australia (See Oreo, China).  As we say in the academe, more research is necessary.

Speaking of multinational dessert issues, I recently discovered that ice cream sprinkles in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, are called rice.  They are also known as jimmies in the Mid-Atlantic United States or hundreds-and-thousands in Singapore and other places formerly ruled by the British. 

I am not sure when this information will come in handy but I am prepared to teach the next generation.

Easter Sunday.  Many people are at church, my wife is standing watch on base.  Or “place,” as we call it since our community is a small outpost here in Southeast Asia. 

Father home alone again with his daughter.  I know you are wondering what we do all day.  Many others do as well, since every time I use the words “father home alone with daughter” a lot of people visit this blog from around the world.  I suspect they are often disappointed.

Today we lip-synced and Citrus did a little dance to Gary Numan’s Cars.

I know what you’re thinking:  How much did you have to pay someone to teach her those wild moves?

Would you believe $100?  How about $20?  

Nope.  You can’t buy this.  Quality time with your daughter learning dad’s best dance moves.  

Some day she will thank me. 

For something else.

I made another video tonight of Citrus singing Anchors Aweigh.  Yes, it looks like a hostage video.  No, she was not forced to sing songs for her release or dinner and, for the record, we do not require her to march around and salute, either.  It was her military child care that got her in the habit of marching but that phase has passed.

Elysia just got back from Brunei three days ago but is already gone on another trip.  That leaves Daddy and Daughter left to joke around and amuse ourselves until her return.  We have a big menu of favorite antics and Citrus knows when she is in the clear to do things like make noodle moustaches at dinner.  Today we went swimming, had dinner delivered, and watched Sam Raimi’s Drag Me To Hell.

Okay, she only watched a little bit before I sent her off to change her clothes.  Tomorrow is Show & Tell at school and Citrus is bringing “Old Dolly.”  The two of them have sailor dresses but since the school requires a uniform, I did a mini-photo shoot so that she can bring a picture.  With the camera in hand I also made the video since soon she will be too old to sing it and look cute. 

No worries, though.  When Mommy travels in the fall we can teach the new baby old tricks.

The judges: All ate some, some ate all.

You never know when the call to serve will come, or what you may be asked to do, but you must be prepared to step up.  Today was that day. 

There I was . . . 

Halfway through a short walk between the sandwich shop and the NEX to buy a battery were several pots of chili.  All that was needed was a third judge in the cook-off. This was my moment.

Five cups later, the results were in.  Bodacious III won for the third year in a row.

Third Place

Other people go to the military chapel.  My wife and four year old daughter beat the crap out of each other on the Wii.  We all come from different traditions.

My daughter won.  Poor Mommy, down for the count.

After the dragon boat fiasco it was nice to return to something a little less frantic like bowling with the military spouse association.  Our team is the Kingpins. 

If there is one thing consistent about military life, bowling is it.  You may not find it in the books but at some point in America’s military history it was decided that bowling is such a wholesome and inexpensive sport that every base should have an alley.  Even Diego Garcia, in the middle of the Indian Ocean.

I may not be very good but I am not the worst player at the alley.  It’s a start.  Plus, if you start to feel light-headed you are already on shore.

Sniff.  It seems like only yesterday that our daughter was small enough to sit on the end of a Howitzer aboard the USS Kearsarge.  [Photo taken only three years ago.]