A few months ago a giant pickle in a uniform arrived at the child care center on base and the kids gathered around for a lesson. I really did not know what to make of it, other than it seemed a bit disturbing. I clipped the photo from the base newspaper and filed it away until I could make sense of it.
It turns out that Heinz launched a campaign aimed at military children during April, Month of the Military Child. Private Pickle is touring bases and giving children advice on being respectful, getting exercise and eating healthy foods. My daughter’s classroom was given a large spiral-bound poster-book with 12 assorted pictures and messages.
I have to say that my favorite picture shows the giant pickle warning a child “Don’t Talk to Strangers”. They have got it all wrong — if my daughter sees something that looks like this mascot I want her to run to the guy near the lamppost! Another classic is “Always Listen to Your Parents and Teachers, Say Yes Ma’am and Yes Sir”. Which our daughter does at school. (Only in the military!)
I spoke with our daughter’s teacher and said that I found it a little creepy, but she assured me that the kids loved it. Of course the kids are excited to have any visitor in the classroom. And I also remembered the day that Citrus ate her first pickle at Katz’s deli in NYC and made the most of it. I decided that the Heinz logo incorporated within an education campaign was harmless.
And then I went to the commissary this week and found Private Pickle logos sticking out from grocery shelves. At child height. It turns out that Heinz could not just do something nice for the children but has incorporated a marketing component to twist parent’s arms as they shop with their children. First, the kids cozy up to the brand at their school with their friends and teachers, and then in the grocery store see the product and want it.
I was pretty angry then, and more-so when I found the press release stating that Private Pickle is visiting more than 100 bases in the United States and Europe where he is going to child development centers and commissaries.
According to the president of Heinz USA Retail,
Private Pickle will also become a familiar household friend as he begins his U.S. tour on behalf of military children. No matter in which city a military child is stationed, Private Pickle will be there, too.
On the one hand, I am thankful that it is a snack food that is not loaded with sugar or bad ingredients. It is not like Joe Camel visited daycare and certainly the commissary is already filled with branded characters on every type of product for kids. And from the perspective of base leadership, I am sure they see it as harmless and fun for the kids. Fun for the kids, a headache for parents getting their groceries.
But the difference here is that I do not think that any company should be given access to my daughter’s classroom to deliver a marketing campaign dolled up as an educational “support the troops” event. I guess I am a kill-joy at school just as I am by limiting how much television Citrus watches at home.
As it turns out, the base has its own mascot, a giant bird of some sort that promotes different events and community services. Maybe I should volunteer to don the costume and flap around the classroom. Compared to the pickle, it would not be disturbing at all.
