Years ago David Sedaris wrote that there is nothing more sad than seeing a man standing on a street corner dressed as a taco. And now, someone has decided that we can do better.
The new National Museum of Crime & Punishment opened a few days ago just around the corner from my job. The museum staff have to wear bright orange prison jumpsuits. I was on my way to CVS during lunch and there was someone from Abu Ghraib come to life, just crossing the street. It is nearly summer so I guess the hood was optional.
I suppose it was only time before a prison economy had its own gift shop and I couldn’t resist going in. Sadly, the “Cop Shop” had a mundane assortment of mousepads, shot glasses, prison art, episodes of COPS, books by John Walsh. No Taser keychains, no Nixon placemats.
It is bizarre that despite being halfway between the White House and the Capitol, the website seems to avoid mentioning political crimes or scandals. Think Dillinger’s getaway car, a signed clown photo of John Wayne Gacy, but not Senator Larry Craig’s restroom stall. You still have to go to Minnesota for that.
Note to self: Email the museum and recommend that staff ought to do Thriller performances to draw in a lunchtime crowd or add something special to a private party. After all, the Geneva Conventions don’t apply!
I had to check their book selection because I had a college professor who told me to read Discipline and Punish. He also suggested smoking a joint first to enjoy it more, and that I could write anything about the book because no one really knew what it said. But no Foucault, no fake drug souvenirs for my desk, and no Dostoyevsky either. However, the museum does include white collar crime: Is it me or does the sign outside look very similar to this?
Something tells me there is not much of a defense section alongside the CSI exhibits. It is interesting that they bother to include criminal investigations at all. That is so old school! They could have just skipped to the punishment.
At the museum you can see a gas chamber and electric chair for $18 and the kids get in free!
For now the only place in town you can see orange jumpsuits and waterboarding demonstrations is in front of the White House. It’s kind of like a Washington DC version of Sea World. And like the Smithsonian, the anti-Bush demonstrators do not charge admission!
One Response to “Greetings from the Panopticon, Are You Here?”
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Any seasons of Reno 911 for sale?
Why can’t they have a cool museum like the museum of jell-o molds?
Now if only they were tacos dressed in orange jumpsuits, that would give me pause!