Married to the Military is a term that I did not understand when Elysia and I first started dating. Had I been asked what it meant several years ago, I would have probably first thought of patriotism gone rabid, such as the Commander in Dr. Strangelove who thinks the Commies are going to “sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids”.
Now after eight years as a military family, we know what it means — nearly every part of your life has some connection to the military, whether it is going shopping or trying to explain why your driver’s license is from another state. The most obvious impact is where you live and the fact that in the back of your mind you’re always trying to factor in how today’s decisions might be impacted by the next move. This weekend Elysia did an amazing job cutting ceramic tile and putting in a new kitchen floor and one of my immediate comments was ”We’ll get to enjoy it for at least a year!” (I’m not an idiot — I said nicer things first.)
The activities of a typical day cannot be carried out without my military ID. We use the day care on an Air Force base, Elysia works on a Navy base, and we grocery shop and see doctors on an Army base. At two years old, Citrus recently wanted her own ID to show to the gate guard with the machine gun, so she uses an Elmo card from a trip to Sesame Place.
It’s when the little absurdities creep up in the most unexpected places that you know you’re married to the military:
Me: Honey, this morning when I changed Citrus’s diaper, she said oorah.
Mom: Oorah?
Me: Yeah, I thought maybe she heard it from an Army parent at daycare.
Mom: No, that’s hooah. Was it hooyah?
Of course, conversations such as these are nothing new to other military families. On another blog a parent said he accidentally referred to his 6 year old daughter as being “on leave” when she had vacation from school, and the web is filled with similar inside jokes and anecdotes.
The trick is to try to maintain your own identity when your daily routines are often tied to the identity of “your sponsor”. It still creeps me out when I read about someone saying “We made O3″ (Lieutenant) when referring to their spouse’s promotion, but at the same time I can understand where they’re coming from: It is a source of pride and it also has implications for where you may be living next.
I just fear the slippery slope that one day I will be be baking cookies for the day care staff and the next thing you know you’re crocheting red, white and blue cosies for M16 magazines. Not that there’s anything wrong with crochet, except that there often is a lot of wrong done with crochet.
4 Responses to “Married to the Military”
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very nice!!
What! No Stars and Stripes cookie cutters?
I thought the Navy-Marine Corps command logo on my apron was sufficient.
Way to go, Mitja!! Your personal essays are very entertaining and your point of view as the husband of someone in the military is fairly unique.